He woke up in the middle of the night and realised what this nagging weight has been in the deep darkness of his spirit – his spirit that has been flying for weeks. He realised that the pain has been there all along and that he was alone. It was a robbery – a highway robbery that had taken from him everything that he would have normally had, everything that for years he had taken for granted.The robber had come into his fortress and taken his wealth of spirit, his breadth of joy, his ease of living, his wallet of fun, his package of smiles and his most prized possession: his ability to love. In exchange, the robber shot into him the desperation to simply be alive, more than adequate measure of pain and the feeling of failure. At every turn, the robber dogged him with taunts of his impending expiration and at every turn he fought the obstacle and struggled to keep his possessions.
At every junction, the robber reminded him that he is alone, that no one noticed his fight, his trudge and at every junction, he had no time to look around whether others fought by his side – he just tried to keep whats his, his sanity, his happiness.
At every crest the robber said, “hark, you lose.” and at Every crest, he triumphed. He jumped over obstacle after the other, through forests and storms and raging rivers and falls. Through thorns and falling rocks and icy snow and dry deserts, he fought battle after battle and won.
And he finally reached the end of the earth – at the white sandy beach abreast of the clear blue sea under the beautiful clear sky and under the comfort of a palm tree swaying in the cool tropical breeze, he slept – exhausted. Now he awoke, dazed, and he realised that the flight was just a dream.
That his companions were no more than figments of his imagination and looking around, he saw his tattered cloths and wounded self and he saw that he was alone. He looked at the sky and saw it was never clear but cloudy and laden with lightening that would soon strike at the core of his heart.
He looked at the sea and saw the storm that was brewing and the tides that would cover him.
He looked around and he could not find shelter, for he could not rise. He knew then, that the robber has won. He was broken. He has lost more than he had.
Despite winning the battles, the soldier knew it at last: he was broken.
And he lay back down and gave in.