bear your soul
”my dear friend,
bear your soul
bleed the blood
root of your pain
you have nothing but to gain
a heart
that is whole..”
So read the verse,
And so I did.
For the first time in my entire life,
I got up strolled to the great wall that surrounds my psyche
and unlocked the chains that bind the gates
together.
I switched off the electric fences that I had built around that wall
and sent the Dobermans off to their kennels.
It was unplanned,
it was done on a whim.
I opened the huge gates that keep my psyche safe from harm
and looked out at the world beyond.
The world of glaring truth and displays of weakness.
The world of showing need and want and deficiencies.
I ventured into this world and I bore my soul.
As unplanned things go, it went quickly.
I started bearing my soul, unclothing it and exposing its delicate skin
to the glare of truth
in supplication.
Down to the very under garments of this exposition,
I went and before long, I stood there.
Nude.
Open.
And panting in the realisation of my actions,
I looked around to see whether my exposition has
wrought the freedom and liberation that the saying,
“the truth shall set you free”
promises
All I saw were warts.
And developing blisters.
And soon, I moved back into my wall.
But I cannot close the gates, for I have been
exposed.
And the weakness has been seen.
And my need.
And my want.
I have borne my soul and now,
Now my heart is filled with need all the greater and
My soul bleeds with despair and forlorn hope
I put no thought to it
And I know that if I had
the wisdom bourne of the past would have whispered,
whispered the lessons that only experience can teach
stay put,
stay quiet,
stay safe
had i put thought into it then my soul,
my soul would be whole and safe and wondering
yes, wondering
but it would be safe
Bear your soul, so said the verse
And I did.
What have I done?